Do you know why I quit smoke ? Because I want to live longer. Why ? I feel that life starts after 40.
At 6:40 am early morning on 4th February 1981 I had the first cry but then was cuddled by my mom, taught me how to feel, taught me how to eat, taught me to say ma, taught me to laugh, the warmheartedness begins and taught me the love. Then the usual ritual starts, go to kinder garden - playing toys with joys, sub-junior schools - running wild and free and making friends, high school - posing around and making more friends and girl friends and intoxicating and day-dreaming, colleges days - further maturing those high school feelings with a sense of making effort to reach those dreams to be a face in the crowd, corporate life - learned the definition of commitment, ethics, working day and night and hanging out at weekends to the extreme, making money, roaming the world, promotions and life goes on.
Isn't it so natural.It would have been natural,had been the case if there were no dark side, the greed, the jealousy, the competitiveness, the fights. Humans are complex and they become more and more complex to make themselves simple.Learning is not only everywhere its in every moment too.
Now I am passing time to make myself simple by learning, talking an advantage from the fact that "Life teaches you everything". Now I am working, earning money to stand a family, looking for a girl to be my wife, roaming the world seeing what it is, waiting for appraisal for a leap in status, reading and writing exams for personal status, making more friends and maturing old friends, caring my parent and brothers and sisters, listening songs and learning them because it makes me happy, feels depress when the thought of the lost love surrounds, loosing control and laughing out loud like no tomorrow, exercising to make myself fit - the physical aspect, aligning to wisdom sensually and practically - the mental aspect, engross in some deep simple primitive thoughts and feelings - the spiritual aspect.
And I am really passing time until I am 40 to know what lies beyond, when I am truly simple. Dear God, I am so afraid, give me the strength to simplify myself.
God knows. I deserved to attain the Metallica concert. Moment was a moment that I have longed since 1994,when I first heard Enter Sandman. In the middle of the show, after they played Battery, they were about to end, so we said "we one more". James after some pretense said "You know we aren't going; not your first time seeing Metallica is it? If it is your first time ????? ", he said with his hands raising "Welcome to the Family". I was touched and same time was in imperial.
Journey starts by approaching a wrong gate that was intended for workers :-).
When I reach the main gate, there were only few thousand fans at 3:30 pm.
We were all impatiently waiting for 6 o’clock for gate opening. As soon as I got the pass, without a second thought I ran a 100 m race and got the first row, amongst the front most categories. I was the front most and middle most... huh!!! To my surprise (forget about manipuri, indian or asian) I was the only black hair guy in the 50,000 crowd. See the crowd. Some more crowd.
Come some numbers from some popular European bands.
At eight o'clock, Metallica is really going to start. They have the instruments fixed by their supporting group and their specialty of sticking guitar picks on the microphone stands. Sounds were really becoming great. A plug in a single bass string even gives a sufficient jerk to the chest and some other fans standing besides me prepare their ear buds.
They come up with the following numbers, - - - - signifies other Metallica activities.
Creeping Death For Whom The Bell Tolls Wherever I May Roam Disposable Heroes Welcome Home (Sanitarium) ...And Justice For All The Memory Remains No Leaf Clover Orion Fade To Black Master of Puppets Battery - - - - Sad But True Nothing Else Matters One Enter Sandman - - - - Whiplash Seek and Destroy - - - -
There were this one the background and suddenly from nowhere I saw James than I saw Krik in their full form, I was astoundingly surprise with happiness that I was senseless for the rest of the first two numbers (Creeping Death and For Whom The Bell Tolls) and I keep singing the song aloud, with eyes closed and head banging (well afterward I was forced to consult a doc for my neck pain). I could start lowering to senses abit in Wherever I May Roam and was able to think that I should take some videos in Disposable Heroes .
Now comes ...And Justice For All, they really enjoyed playing this number and I guess I did the most head banging in this number. Welcome Home (Sanitarium) was played exactly the same way, for a moment I wasn't able to convince myself the happiness I am through, thinking I am with Metallica, remembered all those yesteryears where I lie besides my music system listening to them, mesmerized. Then Orion music was so heavily put-on that the music grows upon me. Then comes Fade to Black , my darling number; and in the midst when the heavy riff gonna start, James put in a nice way, making the moment just perfect by letting us wait as if we are waiting for a most awaited riff. Master of Puppet and , I lost when I actually saw Krik playing the riff. This song is one of the most technical, melodious riffs driven song. Battery and Sad But True (one of their favorite song) goes as usual.
Nothing Else Matters was the most perfect number and it seems that the song was sung for me. I miss the love of my life at that moment and I whisper her name quietly. This becomes the theme of this little review, SOMETHING LAST FOREVER!!! Anyways, One please don’t miss this video, it was wow!!!! The starting of this number was something I couldn't ever imagine, those presentations by bombs blast series and heavy colorful lighting, and following with James plug-in, again followed by Krik's spellbinding lead solo, and the ending double foot base drum of Lars Ulrich (My all time favorite drummer).Then comes Enter Sandman (I guess I don’t repeat my feeling now) but the last off timing uhh !! was produce with a restless waiting followed by another bomb blast. This number is simply unique, the more you hear this song the more you extract some musical meaning out of it. Whiplash in a flash. Lastly Seek and Destroy , don’t know why this number still rocks since 1983,already 14 years in top list, better time be with us for another 11 years to become a hall of fame.
One great show was over, fans were relaxing and at the same time looking down in search of the guitar pick Metallica throws . Never seen such a hugh crowd. Meet one Russian born guy, Alexander and we become good frens. On way back people were everywhere sitting, sleeping even on the road. They were doing anything. I came to hotel with Alex, had the sixth beer as a token to the most memorable moment of our lives.
Hey you, still no other girl can compare you! Hey you, I am saving all my love for you!
Just wanted you to roam wherever you may wish, Just wanted you to do whatever you wanna do, My only pleasure will be to see you from a distance And fill this hungry heart with those tears that comes out seeing you.
Hey you, I was born to be by your side as river flows in ocean. Hey you, the farther you go, the more ideal my love becomes for you.
Would you tell me, how did I feel when I saw you after 1000 days? Would you tell me, why did you become a legend in my life? Would you tell me, what is there in you that makes me crazy after you? Would you tell me, till when I should wait for you to feel the same?
If love were dead, I wish I was never born. If love were waiting, I am dying for you. If love were asking, I could have given you the moon. If love were dreaming, I would still be day-dreaming when I wake up. If love were money, I would have got you a diamond that is worth Raju.
I have lost the strength to forget you, I have lost the power to bear the pain departing you.I want to be with you even when time ends. I might be your favorite mistake but still I am waiting for the "when", when you could feel the same.I love you with all my heart.
There was one little thing that every soul forgets with which the world would have been the way it used to be.The thing that should be indeed is the thing that is in need.The sky is so low that I see all I can see that makes me feel seek nothing.A gravely peril darling comes to take my hand with intoxication but had given her an unforgiven "kiss your feeling good-bye".The unfelt pain would always remain a pain and a trail always a trail.Back to the womb is the thought for the hour, but why life's step are so irreversible.I guess God has seen me tried and He has heard my voice.The struggle within or the inner me is all I could digest for the existing fuzziness,no more.Regus used to be my religion that I always keep and will not continue as well.Millions a step to undertake but what if I am billion steps ahead.With sword raising high as forbidden zone finally gone !!!
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